Today is not my day.
When I went to get my paper a black cat crossed my path and since then I have cut both my thumbs, slammed my foot into a door frame, pulled my back, been abnormally thirsty, and three people came back into the kitchen to personally tell me that my food tasted like: crap, trash, and shit. I would take a bath later to relax my back but I'd probably drown. Or. OR. Something electrical would fall in and then I'd be electrocuted and then the whole town would black out and no one would find my body till Tuesday because I don't work Monday.